The Experts Hangout podcast episode I recorded a couple of months ago came out this week. We spent 90 minutes discussing motivation, food, fitness, behaviour change, why people start and stop exercise, the reasons diets fail and what actually makes change stick long term. I thought it was a really enjoyable conversation and there is some particularly good content in the first 30 minutes, although I am probably not the most objective judge of that! You can watch the full episode on You Tube >> or on Spotify >>.
Why Most People Think They Need More Willpower?
One topic that came up is something I have been talking about for nearly 20 years now, that for most people, their lack of willpower is not actually the real problem. You may think you are lazy, lack discipline, or simply are not the sort of person who sticks to things. I hear it all the time but I just don’t believe it.
I think most people fail because they are trying to follow plans that do not even closely match the person they are today or the lifestyle they currently live. This means it demands huge amounts of willpower to sustain.
If you go online, fitness looks like 5am starts, freezing cold plunges, marathon runners doing 100km weeks, bodybuilders eating out of plastic tubs and people shouting motivational quotes while sweating aggressively in gyms. Then normal people like you, with jobs, kids, bad sleep, stress, social lives and twenty years of inconsistent exercise history, wonder why they cannot stick to it.
The answer is fairly obvious, you are nothing like them, which is fine.
Imagine somebody who has not exercised for ten years decides to get fit and thinks, “Right, I’ll run for twenty minutes every day this week”. They struggle of course, feel awful, ache for days and conclude running is not for them, but the issue was not matching who and where they are. For example, my average client often can only run for 60 to 90 seconds when we begin, and we only do 5-6 minutes running in the whole session and all of it at an easy pace. This is enough to get someone significantly fitter, it is also the first goal of fitness, which is to do something that feels sustainable.
The same thing happens with food. People suddenly move from eating fairly normally to just chicken, broccoli and sadness seven days a week. They cut out social meals, try to be perfect and wonder why three weeks later they are back where they started and blame themselves.
The issue is not willpower, the problem is not you. The cause is you trying to force yourself to follow something someone else has taken years to grow into. This is not a knowledge, intelligence or discipline problem. It is about building something around your own life, personality and psychology. When you do, you will not need to rely on willpower or need huge amounts of motivation.
What Does This Mean For You
If you constantly feel like you are failing at health and fitness, perhaps stop asking, “How do I become more disciplined?” and instead ask, “How do I make this easier to repeat?”
That might mean shorter workouts, smaller food changes, walking more, doing more exercise you like (or dislike the least). You should lower the bar enough that success becomes realistic. The funny thing is, when you stop relying on willpower, change often becomes much easier.
Over time you will change as a person, eventually, if structured correctly, you become that person who could easily follow some more wild exercise routines without any willpower or be disciplined to enjoy following any nutrition routine.
Check out The Experts Hangout podcast for more on this and a deeper dive into motivation, why people start and stop their efforts, GLPs, enjoying exercise, long term change and why most health & fitness advice does not really work in the real world.
Key Takeaways
- Most people do not fail because they lack willpower.
- The harder a plan is to fit into your current life, the more discipline it requires.
- Sustainable plans beat perfect plans.
- Success often comes from making things easier to repeat.
- Over time, consistency changes who you are and what you are capable of.
Video – The Experts Hangout Podcast below on You Tube, or watch on Spotify here>>
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